So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
