so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
