Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
