its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
