I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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