I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
