Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
