Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My day in three words: secret purse cake
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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