i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
