We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize