my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
