i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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