My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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