Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
