I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
