I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
