Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
