have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
