I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
