i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
