What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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