I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
