I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize