if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
