Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
