I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
