Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
