So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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