I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
