How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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