i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
