Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
