Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
