woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
