youre lurking in front of me
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
