Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
