I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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