Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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