The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
