the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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