And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
