Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
