Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
