No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
