two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
