you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
