In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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