when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
