I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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