Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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