I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize