just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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