He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
