turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
