i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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