the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
They took my balls.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
