But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
